mean-cannibals:

I would have an entire episode dedicated to Hannibal doing everyday tasks, but each one of them goes wrong somehow.  Maybe he’s putting toothpaste on his toothbrush and plop! a glob falls and marrs the pristine surface while Mozart’s Requiem in D Minor plays and the camera slowly zooms in on Hannibal’s horror-stricken expression, essentially creating an “Mmm, Whatcha Say?” moment. 

 I would have this happen with increasing frequency throughout the episode until every 30 seconds, Hannibal’s carefully-constructed world is coming apart at the seams.  He goes to pour himself a cup of tea to soothe his nerves, but somehow a single drop manages to spill as he’s taking a sip and leaves a small-but-still-insulting stain on his crisp white shirt.  The music plays even louder and we see the teacup slip from Hannibal’s grasp and shatter on the floor.

The screen goes dark for three seconds.

The episode ends much like one of Hannibal’s famous cooking montages.  A light, airy piece of music is being played.  A cabinet of dried spices is opened, and the camera zooms up close on their contents.  One of his bone china plates is laid delicately on his stainless steel kitchen counter.  Hannibal’s hands fold an off white napkin in slow motion.  We catch a glimpse of Hannibal’s reflection bustling about in a shiny red apple from its place in a bowl of fresh fruit.

The doorbell rings, and the camera zooms out dramatically and disorientingly to catch Hannibal’s face, almost in profile, as a slow smile unfurls across his lips.  The front door opens to reveal an intimidated young man who is practically shaking in his shoes.  Hannibal is stone-faced as he nods.  

Back to the food montage.  A white box of some sort is being opened– it’s difficult to tell what it is because of the extreme close-up.  Tendrils of steam dance as they rise up against the blurred background of Hannibal’s utilitarian kitchen.  A white-yellow substance bubbles and is pulled apart– cheese, warm and tacky, being stretched into a network of thin strings as it’s pulled apart.  A close up of Hannibal’s open mouth.  

We zoom out slowly from Hannibal’s mouth and we finally have the full picture: Hannibal Lecter, dressed down in a worn-out t-shirt and a pair of loose sweatpants, closes his eyes in ecstasy as he bites down on a slice of pizza, covered in various meats and a slick layer of grease.  The zoom continues and we see a 6-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans to his left and a pack of Double Stuff Oreos to his right.  The music swells, and Hannibal offers a small smile after he swallows.

Sometimes, even Hannibal Lecter just gives up.